I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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