Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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(332): View more from

Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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(713): View more from Texas

I want to celebrate with you...

(214): View more from Texas

There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.

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