For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
