Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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