HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
