what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
