its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
