Sry I called you an 8
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
