I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
