if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
