I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
