4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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