I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize