im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
