YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
