KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
