her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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