Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
