hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
