we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
