i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize