They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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