I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
