hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
