I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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