Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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