i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
