Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
