It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
