Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
