If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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