honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
