in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
