So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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