Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
