If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
