I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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