I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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