good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just found a bag of teeth...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize