So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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