I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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