where am i from again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
