Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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