you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
