So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
