Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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