I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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