I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
