hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You may now shotgun with the bride
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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