I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
