i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
