I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
