some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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