you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
