I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
