u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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