u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize
